Welcome to the Church of Climate Change

Welcome to the Church of Climate Change.

Come, sit down, and relax in one of our pews. Take in the grandeur of the space. Quietly reflect on the horrible things you have done that need to be forgiven by the high priests and priestesses of the Church. Did you drive here in a gasoline powered car? That’s a sin in the Church. Did you eat a hamburger for lunch the other day? That’s a sin. Did you question the practicality of the Church’s proposals for a utopia whereby no one has to work and the Earth is completely rid of carbon emissions? Definitely a sin.

As service begins, you settle in to hear the sermons from the clergy.

The first one, a younger High Priestess steps up the lectern and begins with this.

“Our planet is going to hit disaster if we don’t turn this ship around and so it’s basically like, there’s a scientific consensus that the lives of children are going to be very difficult … And it does lead, I think, young people to have a legitimate question, you know, ‘Is it okay to still have children?”

That last part hits you pretty hard. “Is it okay to still have children?” That seems a little harsh. You were for cleaner air and water, but now the Church is asking you to give up having children. That doesn’t seem fair to you, but you continue to sit there.

After the first High Priestess spoke, another one gets up while ushers begin to make their rounds to pass the hat around. This one goes on about how much money they need to raise to make their goals a reality. She proclaims:

“Then when people start saying cost, cost, cost, my response is ‘No, it’s not about cost. It’s about investment. It’s about investment.”

When an usher comes around, you drop a couple dollars in the pan and they look at you with judgment. They tell you what you gave was not enough, you need to give more. You ask how much more and they say 70% of everything you have. Right now and no delay. You try to argue that you need that for essentials so you can live and provide for your family. Doesn’t matter, this is for the good of the world and our Church, don’t count the cost, count it as an investment.

This all sounds incredibly ludicrous when you read this. Who would join such a Church? Who would subscribe to such a rigid ideology?

The truth is, millions of Americans do believe in this ideology. Lots of them are running around the halls of Congress this very moment saying how the sky is falling and we need to pass “ambitious” legislation to save the world. Otherwise, we’re all dead and there’s no America to govern if we don’t take this opportunity.

I jest about the Church of Climate Change, but as I watch supporters of it, I don’t think it’s a laughing matter anymore. Millions of Americans actually fully believe this crazy ideology and like any religious zealots, are willing to forgo rational and civility to make their goals a reality.

You see, when it comes to the divine truth that is Climate Change, there is nothing off limits. To argue against the truth of it is akin to an atheist telling a devout Christian that Jesus is not Lord and Savior. The believer will turn blue to argue that their ideology is true and righteous. That sounds oddly familiar to arguing with a member of the Church of Climate Change. Facts don’t matter, they’re heresy because they undercut the one true ideology. That is the world is going to come to a screeching halt if you people don’t follow their instructions 100%.

And there in lies the rub. The Church of Climate Change is not really about Climate Change is it? It’s about power and control. Much like the Catholic Church when it was the only game in town during the Middle Ages. There’s a scripted response and reason from the Church on practically every issue.

Too many people breeding? Let’s legalize after birth abortions because too many people creates Climate Change. Does that sound crazy? Maybe at the moment, but think about the quote above. They are actively suggesting population control for the reason of Climate Change. They want the power to decide who lives and dies because of Climate Change.

When they want to confiscate your wealth and grow the federal government to authoritarian levels, it’s all in the name of Climate Change. “If we don’t take all your money how will we combat Climate Change?!” they shriek in horror. They seem to leave out that by taking all your wealth you are not only giving them more power, you are becoming more dependent on the federal government.

Nothing is off limits when it comes to the Church of Climate Change. The Constitution would be ripped to shreds if the Church had its way. You would be stripped of all your unalienable rights.

And you see it all over the world. France is burning because President Macron imposed a tax on diesel to help combat Climate Change. You also see it right here in California. When confronted with a need for a reason to impose another crazy piece of legislation, they simply just tack on “to combat climate change” at the end and it now all of sudden makes sense. Passing legislation to give legal aid to help illegal immigrants come to California? It’s because of climate change.

This is why the Church of Climate Change is particularly dangerous. Their goal is world domination, no matter the cost. Their devout followers blindly accept their sermons and quite literally use them as gospel out in the real world. They have suspended reasonable rational for the goal of achieving these divine goals. There is no other reason for anything to exist unless it is to combat Climate Change. Your basic needs and wants come secondary.

I don’t foresee the Church closing up anytime soon. It’s been very effective for a long time. Similar to the old monarchies in the Middle Ages, the Church is very willing to use its power and cache to help the elites of the world accomplish their goals, just as long as they get a mention. Even more similar, this Church seeks to create a serfdom of citizens who are compliant and beholden to them.

So welcome to the Church of Climate Change. Have a seat and accept your fate (for the purposes of combating Climate Change of course).